(24) Updates

HELLO 

ahhhhhhhhhhhh what am I doing here, I should be studying! 

well, o's are in about an average of 70 more days and my prelims are just 20 days away. Who's up for that? Definitely not me. I'm just trying my best to do what I can and to gauge whatever comes my way. It is irrefutable and tiresome to be going through a beyond-vicious cycle almost everyday in school. I'm just really really really genuinely glad that there are many public holidays and school events this term- that ultimately means more rest and time for me to catch up with my work! No, don't get me wrong, I'm so glad that are actually actually activities for us to be taking part in, besides sitting in class doing practically nothing. I find class time really unproductive and pointless, at this juncture. The teachers aren't doing much; not like what I had expected them to be doing. I had always thought that they would be pumping us with prelim papers after papers, especially at this time. But I haven't seen much from all the subjects? The teachers probably think that it's pointless and not fruitful to be doing so. I'm sure that some people would actually do the papers that they'll give! I mean they're practically stereotyping the whole class. 

My teacher told us in our face that "not a single one of us are worthy enough to be in a JC". Well, ouch, that was a nice slap in the face. Here I am, slogging my way through school and you're telling me that not a single person can make it to JC next year? I'm trying really hard to prove everyone wrong and to get my butt into my dream school. It is envisioned now and then, that I'm wearing that signature uniform, and studying in that school! My dream is also to be in their dance cca as well. 

Moving on

Well, I've been really intrigued by how easily some people are able to be sponsored by blogshops and by brands! How cool can that be, and I'm still interested in  my modelling dream o k. HAHAHAHA no kidding; I'm a novice at modeling and I'm definitely and proven (with a chop) that I am camera-awkward. Even though I have a penchant of taking selfies, but still. Having other people to take pictures for you and you doing it yourself, are a world of difference, if you ask me. Mmmmmm I haven't been into exo much lately, considering how busy I am. I barely even have enough time to rest or to breathe; how am I supposed to juggle catching up with exo and my studies? Affirmatively, it can't be done. I've stopped for a couple of months now, and honestly, it's like a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. I don't have to worry or to anticipate arbitrary things any longer. In fact, seeing how productive I am at work is more satisfying than seeing or hearing unpleasant things on the net, or even seeing their faces in previews. I'm honestly not sure if I'll be going back to the fandom after o's. God knows if I'll still be interested in kpop by then. But if smtown ever comes, it's a must to go. I'm already missing their solo concert, which is being held right smack in the middle of my prelims. (ugh god it must be fate) Although I'm still interested in the korean culture and the music produced, is frankly hard to get over, because their music is really good and literally eargasmic. I'm serious! The fashion there inspires me, and that alone already keeps me stuck in the korean culture in one way or another. Circle lenses are probably the things that I'm obsessed with now, because my eyes are really puny and starting to look Asian. I do know the root cause of it though, maybe it has something to do with books and studying and o's maybe, I don't know, I bet you would know the default answer to it. 

Many things have changed and the circumstances in my life have changed drastically- for the good or the bad, I'm not sure of it myself. I am definitely thankful for the cushioning of the problems that I had, and how I managed to rebound back and becoming even stronger. Never have I ever felt so mature or level-headed about most things, and I guess it's about time to do so. I'm already 16, I can't be constantly taking the childish route of resolving things now can I? I don't want to comment too much on the past, I'll focus more on the future instead! I strongly believe that with God's grace, I'll be able to do well with his guidance and his help. I have a dream and I shall achieve it.